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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26081044">if only i could sleep</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raina_The_Rogue/pseuds/Raina_The_Rogue'>Raina_The_Rogue</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Allison being Soft™, Allison being motherly, Brief Mentions of Canon-typical Gore, Canon-typical Cursing, Comfort, Five Takes A Nap, Gen, Let Him Rest Please And Thank You, Slight character study vibes, Unclear when this happens in the timeline, allison's wary of his request considering how well it ended last time, also a bit of introspection, also i don't think five even knows what caused patrick and allison to get a divorce, also i have a love for long sentences and pretentious wording lol apologies, also these two don't get a lot of one on one interactions which is a FELONY, and he fucking deserves it, and wants him to open up to her more they've all been thru some shit, being away from claire for multiple years did not change that lol, but five literally asked for it and fuck he looks dead on his feet, but i like to think they're back in 2019 with no sparrow academy and no apocalypse, feel like it captures the ever-present monologue that surely goes on in five's head, get tua a group chat 2020 God knows they need it, i fkn love introspection can u tell, i miss claire :(, if there's one thing her powers are good for it's being an extra strength sleeping pill, ik there was the vending machine scene but i want m o r e, let five say fuck netflix, no one fucking talks to each other lol, nothing explicit though, read while listening to lofi for the ultimate comfy experience™, she just loves her brother ok</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:01:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,819</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26081044</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raina_The_Rogue/pseuds/Raina_The_Rogue</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Allison is soft, Five forces himself to ask for help, and he finally gets to take a fucking nap.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>191</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>ngl i thought of this when i myself couldn't sleep last night and thought "huh i haven't written anything completed in fkn ages might as well start now"</p><p>this show has completely taken over my life as of late and i will make it everyone else's problem lmaoo</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I need you to rumor me.”</p>
<p>Five figured getting directly to the point would minimize the embarrassment from everyone involved; the less time he spent talking, the better. Hence, blinking directly into Allison’s room with no introduction.</p>
<p>Allison, to her credit, didn’t scream as loud as Five was expecting, just jumping and letting out a soft “fuck!” on accident. “<em>Geez </em> Five, a little warning? Or you could use the door? Nearly gave me a heart attack.”</p>
<p>“You would think you’re used to it by now,” he drawled, leaning against the wall.</p>
<p>“It’s been a while,” she responded, sighing. “What’d you say you need?”</p>
<p>“Rumor me.” It was only then when she seemed to take in his appearance. Hair decently disheveled, ever-present uniform wrinkled, under-eye bags so big they practically took up a quarter of his face. Five was hyperaware of how vulnerable he looked and he hated it, but couldn’t find the energy to do anything about it.</p>
<p>“Uhhh, what for?”</p>
<p>“So I can actually get some goddamn sleep without getting woken up by you idiots every five minutes.” Yeah, that sounded plausible. Luther and Diego and Klaus seemed incapable of not yelling something across the house anytime the urge hit them. The truth was too heavy, that every time he closed his eyes he saw all three times they had died because of him, buried in rubble with glassy eyes, standing together facing the first of the nukes, bodies blown open by a spray of bullets that he had just barely managed to survive for thirty seconds more. That he <em> knew </em> he should sleep, that he was soon going to become useless if he didn’t rest, but being <em> unable </em> to because every time he tried his brain convinced itself that he was still back in the apocalypse with nothing but Delores and his regrets to keep him company. He <em> hated </em> being useless, he <em> hated </em> being out of control, but his stupid pubescent body was actively fighting against him right now and he had run out of ideas. </p>
<p>“-ve? You okay?”</p>
<p>His head snapped up. Fuck, the mental distractions were getting worse.</p>
<p>“Yeah. Just… do it already.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure?” The hesitancy on her face was something foreign to Five. He had missed out on a lot of their lives after time travelling for the first time, but considering the nature of her powers, he wouldn’t be surprised if something happened. </p>
<p>“Yeah I’m sure, just do it already.”</p>
<p>“Not while you’re standing up,” she scoffed lightly, standing herself. “Come on.” She opened the door and motioned for him to follow, which he did, not quite sure what her goal was.</p>
<p>She led him all the way back to his room, sat down at the foot of his bed, and motioned for him to do the same. He did, slowly. Her eyebrows raised when she gave that longsuffering smile again. “<em>Lay down</em>, Five, at least take that jacket off. And shoes while you’re at it.” For once in his decently long life, Five bit his tongue against a snarky comment and did as he was told. There was something in her tone that made it seem wrong, ungrateful, to make any sarcastic insults at the moment. </p>
<p>(When had that changed, he thought idly. When he was at the Commission every other word out of his mouth was a barb to be directed at someone. Was he going soft already?)</p>
<p>Doing what she asked, however, didn’t make him feel any less exposed after shedding himself of the blazer and clunky shoes and leaning back against the headboard, not quite sure what to do with himself. Not uncommon in his current body, but at least he had a clear-cut goal before. Allison must have spotted his hesitancy (since when had he gotten that sloppy? Oh, right, extreme fatigue), because she sighed and stood. “You gonna sleep on top of the blankets or what?” Five just huffed in mock annoyance and curled up just enough to slip under the duvet without standing. He found himself grateful that Allison hadn’t attempted to tuck him in, of all things. He hadn’t <em> completely </em> lost his dignity yet.</p>
<p>He settled as much as he could on his side, refusing to look away from his sister while simultaneously wishing he could turn away without seeming like he was trying to hide. He was an <em> assassin </em> for Christ’s sake, he was <em> not </em> going to get embarrassed about something like <em> this</em>. It was getting harder and harder to keep his expression neutral, to not give away how exhausted he actually was, regardless of how much Allison could already tell just from glancing at him. </p>
<p>“Can you just hurry up and do it already,” he grumbled into the fabric, no real malice behind the words. He had already lost enough self-respect as it was. Any longer and he was half afraid he would start crying like the thirteen year old he currently had the body of. Stupid puberty. Allison smiled once more, so gentle and caring and <em> fuck </em> he shouldn’t be getting emotional over such a small thing, he was better than this goddammit! He hadn’t survived years in the apocalypse and under the thumb of the Commission just to have a mental breakdown curled up like a child.</p>
<p>Finally, <em> finally</em>, she spoke,</p>
<p>“... Just this once.” She took a breath. “I heard a rumor you got a good night’s rest.”</p>
<p>The last time he had been under the effect of her powers was when they were kids, so he was mildly surprised at how quick it took effect. His eyes slid shut instantly, mind blissfully blank for the first time in literal years. He distantly felt fingers ghosting over his forehead (or was he imagining it?). The last thing he heard before he drifted into the blessed arms of unconsciousness was, “Sweet dreams, Five.”</p>
<p>-------</p>
<p>He would never admit it, but he woke up a solid fourteen hours later feeling better than he had in decades. And (he would also never admit this), there wasn’t a single nightmare to be found.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>ok i told myself this was a one and done oneshot but then i got motivated again and now a second part exists, enjoy lmao</p><p>also go back and read the first part if the urge hits u, i made ever-so-slight changes lol</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I need you to rumor me.”</p><p>Allison jumped, a curse leaving her mouth before she could stop it. Five had blinked into her room without warning, and was now leaning against the door looking as unbothered as ever.</p><p><em> “Geez </em> Five, a little warning? Or you could use the door? Nearly gave me a heart attack.”</p><p>“You would think you’re used to it by now,” he stared at her. </p><p>“It’s been a while,” she sighed. It had; between him disappearing for seventeen years, and her getting stuck in the 1960s for two more, any habits she had built up regarding his frequent blinking around had long since faded. “What’d you say you need?”</p><p>“I need you to rumor me.” Now, <em> that </em> was something she hadn’t been expecting. She looked over at him from her spot at the vanity.</p><p>“Uhhh, what for?”</p><p>“So I can actually get some goddamn sleep without getting woken up by you idiots every five minutes.” Allison finally got a good look at her smallest brother. His ever-present uniform was wrinkled and sitting oddly on his body, like he’d rolled around in bed for multiple hours before coming to her (she had a sneaking suspicion he might just have). His hair was sticking out at awkward angles and the dark spots under his eyes were a concerning shade of gray. </p><p>“You sure about this Five?” she couldn’t help but ask. Last time she had rumored someone to go to sleep it had ended her marriage. She knew he was literally asking for it, but the old well of anxiety was making its existence very much known. “Five?”</p><p>He was staring at a point on the wall somewhere behind her, a look in his eyes that almost made him look his true age. “Five? You okay?”</p><p>His attention snapped back to the present, squinting as he focused on her face once more. His previously drooping posture switched to something that was almost hyper aware. </p><p>“Yeah, just… do it already.”</p><p>“Are you sure?” she asked again. </p><p>“Yeah I’m sure, just do it already.” There was a certain pleading in his tone that she had only heard a couple times before, during the multiple times he was trying to convince them to help stop the apocalypse. It made her heart ache. Was that what this was about? Even she had nightmares about the whole ordeal sometimes, and Five had been through more shit than any of them. Now that she thought of it, the last time she remembered seeing him sleep was sometime when they were kids (passing out from a shrapnel wound didn’t count, no matter how much he insisted it did). The look on his face told her he was desperate.</p><p>But, of course, he would never actually say it, so she played along and rolled her eyes.</p><p>“Not while you’re standing up.” She rose from the chair, motioning for him to follow her out of the room. He did, looking vaguely suspicious of her intentions. Her heart clenched again. What kind of life had he led to make him suspicious of such innocent help?</p><p>When they got to his room, she sat down at the end of his bed, gesturing him to do the same. He did, slowly, cautiously. She couldn’t hold back a sigh. “<em>Lay down</em>, Five, at least take that jacket off. And shoes while you’re at it.” She’d shifted into her “mom” voice without realizing it. Five, to his credit, either didn’t realize or didn’t care, doing so after a moment of deliberation. Allison stood, raising an eyebrow. “You gonna sleep on top of the blankets or what?” He huffed under his breath, curling his legs to his chest and slipping under the blanket. He looked especially small laying like that, and Allison was hit with the sudden urge to lean down and hug him until she didn’t feel like crying anymore. That probably wouldn’t go over well though. He looked annoyed enough as it was.</p><p>“Can you just hurry up and do it already,” he mumbled, voice muffled by the duvet covering the lower half of his face. She couldn’t hold back a misty smile. </p><p>“... Just this once.” She swallowed and took a breath. “I heard a rumor you got a good night’s rest.”</p><p>His eyes fell closed as soon as she was done speaking, breathing deepening. The tension seeped out of his frame so suddenly it was like she was looking at a different person. Allison couldn’t help herself; she reached down and brushed his bangs away from his face. “Sweet dreams, Five,” she whispered, but he was already asleep.</p><p>She would never admit it, but she stood in his room for a good ten minutes after, taking comfort in his even breathing. And if she ended up having a mini-breakdown about realizing how much she truly cared for him, well, that’s her business.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>fun fact; twas listening to lofi while writing and the last song that played while i was finishing up was Good Sleep. by Aso and Middle School lmao</p><p>please tell me what u think i thrive off validation from internet strangers lmao</p></blockquote></div></div>
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